Chinese influencers are shattering the shackles of prejudice, weaving a fresh narrative for single mothers in China. Much like the rebirth of phoenixes from ashes, these influencers are boldly redefining family dynamics and dismantling long-standing stereotypes surrounding single mothers within the nation.
China's society is undergoing rapid change,
particularly in its attitude towards single mothers. At the age of 28, Wei
Zhang (whose name has been altered to protect her privacy) made a bold decision
that challenged deeply entrenched societal norms. Her ambition was to embrace
motherhood without the constraints of marriage. To bring this dream to life,
she embarked on a remarkable journey that took her to both the United States
and Russia, where she underwent in vitro fertilization (IVF) procedures, ultimately
giving birth to two beautiful daughters. Today, Ms. Zhang has amassed an
impressive following of over 7.3 million on Douyin, the Chinese equivalent of
TikTok. Her platform offers a window into her life as a single mother,
occasionally featuring promotions for her skincare company. Ms. Zhang's
distinctive appearance, characterized by her choice of menswear attire and a
crew cut, symbolizes a captivating blend of masculinity and femininity, earning
her admiration from a diverse and captivated audience.
However, beyond the allure of her affluence
and her endearing children, Ms. Zhang's admirers are drawn to her passionate
advocacy for single parenthood. In a society where traditional family
structures have long held sway as the prevailing norm, Wei Zhang's bold choice
to embrace motherhood independently stands in stark contrast to conventional
Chinese cultural values. Remarkably, she encountered a distinct absence of the
stigma that once burdened individuals who undertook similar paths in Chinese
society's historical context. Her Douyin channel is just one among many
platforms where single mothers exchange insights on reproductive technologies
like IVF and disseminate messages promoting female independence. Through these
efforts, they collectively challenge conventional notions of family planning
and “empower” China’s women to take
control of their reproductive destinies.
As Ms. Zhang continues to influence and
empower her growing audience, her personal journey mirrors a broader societal
shift occurring in China. An increasing number of women are reshaping their
roles and advocating for greater autonomy in family-planning decisions. By
exchanging their stories and pooling their collective experiences, these women
are fostering a burgeoning sense of empowerment among their fellow women. Their
narratives vividly demonstrate that unconventional routes to motherhood are
gaining as much prominence as traditional ones, particularly in places like
China, where such choices were initially met with societal disapproval. Within
this evolving narrative, Ms. Zhang stands as a symbol, embodying the qualities
of a powerful man, the tenderness of a woman, the responsibilities of a father,
and the greatness of a mother, all encapsulated within the determination of a
single individual.
This shift toward recognizing children born
out of wedlock in China's government registry is causing some unease in a
society where traditional households continue to hold sway, and single mothers
often face unequal access to government benefits. The prevailing cultural norms
have historically placed a strong emphasis on family values and traditional
marriage, leading to societal stigmatization of unwed or unmarried mothers.
These women have frequently encountered barriers when attempting to officially
register their children and secure the rights and benefits enjoyed by children
born within wedlock.
However, the changing demographic landscape
in China has compelled the state to adopt a more flexible approach. With
concerns about a declining population and an aging workforce, the government
has begun to loosen its stance. Since 2022, four provinces in China have officially allowed the
registration of children born out of wedlock, and others are following suit,
albeit without significant public promotion to avoid conflicting with
established social values. As a result, many unwed or unmarried Chinese women
now anticipate less trouble when registering their children in the country's
official registry, signaling a gradual evolution in societal acceptance of
non-traditional family structures.
Shuffling the Deck
Ms. Hui, a 33-year-old residing in Shanghai,
finds herself in a unique position as a single, pregnant woman in her
neighborhood. Approximately a year ago, she reached a pivotal decision that she
did not have sufficient time to both find a life partner and embark on
motherhood while still in the prime of her youth. Consequently, she made the
bold choice to prioritize motherhood and decided to have a child first.
However, navigating this journey in China comes with its own set of challenges,
as single women are currently not permitted to utilize sperm banks or freeze
their eggs. In response to these challenges, Ms. Hui made the decision to
approach a friend, with no plans for marriage, and they engaged in an intimate
relationship that resulted in her pregnancy. Throughout her journey, she has
received support from her mother and peers, although her conservative father
required some persuasion. Ms. Hui's mother consistently emphasized that the
times have evolved, and her daughter's pregnancy was a deliberate choice rather
than an accidental circumstance. In the eyes of her loved ones, Ms. Hui is
celebrated as a remarkable and courageous mother-to-be, defying traditional
norms and expectations.
Ms. Hui's unconventional approach to
motherhood places her within a relatively small minority in China. Published
evidence suggests that the majority of single mothers in the country are either
divorced or widowed, often belonging to the working-class or facing economic
hardships. Messages promoting economic self-sufficiency do resonate with these
women, but they also acknowledge disparities with some of the influencers on
Douyin.
What is becoming increasingly evident in
China is the emergence of a subset of women who are uninterested in traditional
marriage. Many single women in the country argue that the demands of working,
cleaning, cooking, and raising their children consume the majority of their
energy. In this context, carving out time for pursuing a romantic relationship
can seem like an additional burden. Indeed, Chinese society is undergoing a
transformation, with women challenging and dismantling taboos that were
prevalent just a decade ago. This evolution reflects a broader shift towards individual
empowerment and the recognition that there are diverse and valid paths to
fulfillment and motherhood outside of traditional marital norms.
Notes
McDonell, S. (2023, July
29). Why It's Getting Easier to Be a Single Mum in China. Retrieved from
BBC News: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-66064589
The Economist. (2023, July
6). Glorious Mamas: Challenging the Stigma Associated With Single Mothers in
China. Retrieved from
https://www.economist.com/china/2023/07/06/challenging-the-stigma-associated-with-single-mothers-in-china
Wang, V. (2021, May 31). For
China’s Single Mothers, a Road to Recognition Paved With False Starts.
Retrieved from The New York Times:
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/31/world/asia/china-mothers-children-birth.html
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